Self-Portrait
I have been working on a series of self portraits. Six of them. All of them different.
I am making them for my children. Six of them. All of them different.
One thing about a self portrait, I’ve discovered, is that no two are, nor can be, the same. Some are ugly (and I can be ugly). Some are proletarian, some are unfinished, some are over-worked. And I’ve come to the conclusion that after the ball is over and the children are dividing up my stuff amongst themselves, some may find that one is more “them” than another. They will each find themselves in their dear old dad. I’m not making any one portrait with one inheritor in mind.
I’m don’t know who will take the ugly portrait. In fact I submitted them all to a juried show and what I would consider the ugliest one was chosen as the best. Somebody thought, I suppose, that it had “character”. And I can see that perhaps one of the children will appreciate it for that. I think actually that my technique improved over the time between the first one and the last one.
A self portrait is like a signature, perhaps. No two signatures are the same. I remember a Perry Mason TV show where a forger was convicted because he made every signature exactly the same. And while in many many ways children carry forward physical and emotional characteristics of their parents, no child is the exactly same as his parent(s). So I suppose each will identify with one or more of the portraits, some in one way, some in another.
I’ve heard it said that a family can survive anything…except an inheritance. I suppose it’s possible that some of the children will want none of them, and that’s their prerogative. At least that way there will be no ill will.
That would be nice.
It’s entirely possible that some will say they don’t want any one of them so as to not engender strife. That would be nice too. They’ll take what’s left over. And I’m sure that God will guide each one to his “own”. Then the summation of my life, the struggle to hear God’s Voice, will be passed on. That’s the only characteristic I really care about.
That’s what it’s all about. All all all about.
